Hurricane Helene

 This didn’t come from Ginger Zee on a weather report, it came from a friend of ours in Savannah who’ll remain nameless- “I rode a helicopter to the ground in Vietnam, I drank out of a mud puddle in Tijuana to win a bet, and I have three ex-wives who hate me, the last one tried to hire my next door neighbor to kill me …and you want me to worry about a goddamn hurricane, get real …” There’s a nasty old girl, a Cat 3 hurricane named Helene, swirling around in the western Caribbean moving north. Florida will take a direct hit, and then Helene will move north across the coastal plains and low country of Georgia and the Carolinas. It’s called low country for a reason, most of it is right at sea level and it’s crisscrossed with sounds, inlets, rivers and streams that can flood in a hurricane or tropical storm. On the positive side, the hundreds of square miles of marshland do an awfully good job of soaking up ocean surge and heavy rain. In the worst-case scenario, if it’s a Cat 3 hurricane coming in off the ocean, a direct hit, you’re looking at a 20-foot wall of water being pushed by a 100-mph wind, and there’s no decision to make- you leave. Anyone who stays is encouraged to use a waterproof black magic marker and write their social security number on the inside of their forearm, so they can identify the body. Helene’s path, at least for now, looks like it’ll stay slightly west of coastal Savannah, and we’ll have strong wind and heavy rains. We’ve ridden out four or five of these storms since we’ve lived here. We have the advantage of experience, and the lessons learned from friends who were born and raised here, we’ve learned “the drill”- keep a close eye on the weather channel, pay attention to the birds and wildlife, if there’s a hurricane coming, they won’t be around. Have fresh batteries in everything, foul weather gear close, full gas cans, water pumps, and chain saws serviced and ready. Then, when your work is done- relax, tomorrow night as the storm passes, we’re serving Woodford Reserve bourbon at cocktail hour, and I’m making Pasta Bolognese for dinner. It’s our favorite pasta dish, I pirated the recipe from Piero’s in Las Vegas and the Rosebud in Chicago (if anyone is interested, email me and I’ll put the recipe in a blog). If our power goes out, we have candles and a gas stove, so nothing changes. The gas stove was the Blonde Bombshell’s first purchase after we bought this house, and when Joe Biden started making noise about getting rid of the gas stoves, the look on her face could have won an academy award. I was disappointed when his plan went by the wayside because after telling the Blonde Bombshell he was taking her gas stove, Biden would have gone back to the White House and called Vladimar Putin to regain his composure, and have a pleasant, relaxing conversation. So, to our friends in Florida, stay safe and take care of each other. For our part, it’s Wednesday night, we’re headed to Planters Tavern at the Pink House to double check our hurricane checklist, have a few drinks, and listen to the incomparable Kenny Munshaw play some jazz and old standards- it’s important to keep one’s priorities straight in the face of adversity!!!