Joe & the Plastic Jesus

“…I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus ridin' on the dashboard of my car. Goin’ ninety it ain't scary cause I got the Virgin Mary assurin' me that I won't go to hell …” Plastic Jesus by Eddie Marrs. I thought about buying Joe Biden one of those Plastic Jesus’ after he did that monumental face plant in front of 51 million people at the debate. I thought it might look cool on the dashboard of Air Force One. In fairness, I’ll buy Trump one, too, because as Erin Aubry Kaplan noted in the LA Times, “…both men are unfit on a similar scale, though for different reasons.” But we’ll talk about Trump, tomorrow. Today, let’s talk about the fix President Biden has got himself into. Joe Biden is aging quickly; I recognize the signs because I’m only four years younger than him. From the orthopedic shoes to the firm grip on the handrail, to our “trademark” three second, old fart delay in remembering a name or a place, Joe’s our poster boy. In October of 1919, when President Woodrow Wilson suffered a serious stroke and was incapacitated, his wife, Edith Wilson, quietly took over and became the de facto president--some historians say she did a better job than her husband. To some degree, I think Jill Biden is doing the same thing, “calling the shots” about schedule, rest periods and public appearances. That irritates some people, but it’s her job, and she’ll be protective and, in a showdown, will have more “horsepower” than any advisor. It’s either that or, maybe she just wants him to pay off her credit cards. I dunno’ for sure, the Biden saga can be puzzling. Of more concern is that Joe’s got Hunter in the Oval Office as some kind of advisor. Having Hunter Biden around is insane. This family stuff can get carried away, getting a bunch of wacked-out people together under one roof can be a problem, don’t believe me look at the Manson Family. I know Joe thinks his kid has had a rough time, but the optics of putting a convicted felon who’s knocked up a stripper and done a mountain of coke in the Oval Office, ain’t great. The basic rule of politics is to hide your crazy relatives in the closet until the election is over. If Joe needs a doper in the White House, get Keith Richards, he’s much cooler, a lot smarter, and he can play guitar. But it’s not all bad for Joe-a little less than 50% of voters hate Donald Trump and would vote for the alligator that lives in my backyard before they’d vote for Trump. If Joe Biden won’t step aside, and is determined to run, he needs to remember four things the entire election will turn on-Abortion, Jan 6th, the economy, and the southern border. If you don’t figure a way to own these issues, step aside. It’s like Frank Sinatra said, “…everybody needs to know when to leave the party…”