The Magical Mystery Tour

“…Roll up for the Mystery Tour. The Magical Mystery Tour is hoping to take you away, hoping to take you away…”  Magical Mystery Tour…The Beatles …It’s 2024, but drop a tab of acid, blink your eyes, twice, real quick and it’ll be 1967- two unpopular candidates running for president, distrust of the government, distrust spilling out in the streets, a democratic convention in Chicago, everybody talking, you can almost smell the tear gas in the air, and it’s all being played out to a great 60’s soundtrack. The 2024 version of the Magical Mystery tour features two primary players- a ghost who nobody really knows a hell of a lot about, and an orange 78-year-old guy with a screw loose. The charm of the 2024 version is that neither player, beyond a couple of hints, has given the voters the slightest idea about goals, policy, or how they’d spend our money. There’s been minimal campaigning beyond a few safe events in front of their base. Instead, they’ve moved entirely to electronic media. I think it’s safe to say the number of votes cast in November will be less than the number of people punching at their cell phones, trying to block annoying text messages from both candidates. The messages, void of policy, or goals, are dire warnings about the coming apocalypse. What could be more enlightening over morning coffee, than reading your text messages and finding?

Important message from Kamala Harris-- Last night at a MAGA rally in Pennsylvania, Donald Trump bit the head off a kitten. He’s old, he’s crazy, he calls people nasty names, he plays with himself too much, and he’s coming for your tabby cat- cat lovers unite. Unless we stop this man in November, anyone who isn’t MAGA will be sent to a re-education camp in Alabama run by the Christian Right, and there won’t be any healthy choice foods there. Don’t worry about goals or policy, I’ll make it up as I go…. Vote for Harris!!............

Important message from Donald Trump-- Kamala Harris is ugly, even I wouldn’t cop a feel off her. She’s a Commie, and worse than that, she a San Francisco liberal. She says she’s black, but she’s actually an Indian, and everybody knows you can’t trust those Injuns. Remember what those Injuns did to our wonderful 7th Cavalry at the Little Bighorn, terrible, worse thing I ever saw. I remember getting up the next morning and reading about it on my cell phone, terrible, just terrible…. Make America Great Again, Vote for Trump!!………

In defense of me being a smart ass, the American public is getting screwed this fall. We have two candidates playing it safe, trying to avoid losing an election, not trying to win one. Both are giving us hints and passing comments, but neither are giving us specifics about policy, legislative plans, or priorities. Both candidates are playing to their base and hoping the “likeability” factor will give them enough of the “swing vote” to win a close election. The problem with relying on “likeability” is for Trump it’s political suicide, there’s nothing likeable about him. For Harris, the ghost, no one knows her well enough to like her, or dislike her. Trump has inflation and the southern border in his column. Harris has abortion, female, and youth voters on her side- so, we’re back to square one, pretty much a dead heat….