The Three D's

“…the night is young, the skies are clear, and if you want to go walking, dear, it’s delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely…” …De-Lovely…Cole Porter. With all due respect to the great Cole Porter, if he was writing it today, it’d be Dislike, Distrust and Disgust. The lyrics would be changed because we’re about six months out from having the presidential election that nobody wanted-Trump vs Biden Redux. Normally, a candidate brings policy and plans that make up an agenda to the election but in this case, both candidates bring baggage. About 161 million registered voters are divided into three major groups-MAGA, progressive and swing voters. Within the swing voters are a sub-category, the undecided. The undecided are the friends you refuse to meet for a beer or have lunch with because it’ll turn into a two-hour Bataan Death March-30 minutes to decide what to wear, 30 minutes to find the perfect parking spot, 30 minutes to pore over a one page, plastic-laminated menu, and 30 more minutes quizzing the bartender on why there are no daily specials. Realistically there are no “undecided voters” to speak of, everyone already knows who they’re voting for based on the three D’s.  This election is so raucous and contentious that disliking, distrusting, or being disgusted by either candidate has completely over-shadowed policy, it’s become a frat house food fight, and everybody has already chosen which side they’re on. If you doubt my theory about no undecided voters left, here's a chance to check it out. All the undecided voters, from all around the country, are meeting tonight in the backroom at Lulu’s Friendly Tap. Don’t bother getting there early, that backroom seats almost 50 people, so you won’t have any trouble finding a chair…